Etiquette in different life situations. Good manners are the basis for the behavior of a well-mannered person in society

Etiquette in modern society or how not to sit in a puddle in front of everyone.

What do young people know about etiquette? You think nothing! You are wrong. Other young people know about rules good manners in modern society even more than their older friends and comrades.

There are 30 basic rules of etiquette for modern youth that should be followed so as not to appear like an uncouth and boorish hillbilly in polite society.

What is etiquette?

First, let's figure out what etiquette is. In the minds of many etiquette is something, elevating you above everyone around you, pomposity and hypocrisy, pride and contempt for society. In fact, highbrow aesthetes do not live by etiquette alone.

Etiquette is, first of all, norms of behavior, culture of communication. This is as natural as, for example, knowing one's own national language. Following the rules of good manners means being polite, always looking neat and well-groomed, not showing your inner feelings in public, and in general, the ability to control yourself.

30 basic rules of etiquette for modern youth

We offer you a selection of etiquette rules that are relevant today. Do not think that by observing them you will look like a black sheep who flew in from the 18th century.

Saying the phrase: "I invite you to a restaurant", remember that in this case, you will be the one paying. The one who invites always pays. If you have completely different plans for your financial account, and you want to avoid such inconsistencies and misunderstandings, say it a little differently: “Let’s go to a restaurant”. Only if a man offers a woman to pay for her too, she may not pay. Otherwise, both pay the bill.

You should not come to visit without calling first. If your guests show up unexpectedly, then you have the right to receive them in the form in which you are comfortable. It is not at all necessary to change from a robe or pajamas to an evening dress. There is one very common technique that the French came up with. It will help either get rid of uninvited guests or make their appearance spectacular. If guests are out of the blue, feel free to put on stilettos, a hat and pick up an umbrella for a walk in the park. If you want your guests to stay longer, say that you yourself have just arrived and this meeting is a pleasant surprise for you. Well, if you want to quickly get rid of extracurricular visitors, say with slight annoyance that, unfortunately, you need to run to a very important meeting.

When coming to a meeting with friends or a loved one, never put it on the table mobile phone. This will show your interlocutor or interlocutors that you are completely uninterested in him/her, and the gadget is much more important to you. It may seem to those around you that you are doing them a huge favor and that you can take off from your place at any moment to where it will be more interesting.

Never ask your girlfriend out on a date by sending her an SMS. In general, you should not communicate with your loved one by chatting in charts and all sorts of vibers. Instead of a picture with a rose or drawn hearts, give her a rose. Maybe only one, but the most beautiful one.

Remember, a man can take woman coat only to carry it to the wardrobe or to the car. A women's bag a man never picks it up, under any circumstances.

If you come to a company of people you don’t know, but your companion says hello to someone, you should also say hello. It does not take a lot of time. We can say that politeness is the basic rule of etiquette.

Eating sushi with chopsticks is the only way correct option. This is not entirely true. Men, even in a decent expensive restaurant, can afford to eat sushi with their hands. But, unfortunately, only men. This is an alien culture.

Regardless of the weather outside, your shoes should always be polished. Buy a brush and always carry it with you. It's not that expensive and only takes half a minute.

Don't have heartbreaking conversations with a friend over the phone. Demonstrate how important communication is for you, how much support you need, and invite them to a meeting. It's easier to communicate face to face.

Never raise your voice in response to rudeness or insult. You should not stoop to the level of the person who insulted or offended you. You can offend your interlocutor even more by simply walking away with a smile of well-mannered superiority.

If a man is walking with a lady on the street, he always walks on the left. Only people who proudly wear their uniform can be on the right side of the lady. After all, at any moment they may need to “salute” someone they meet. The military greeting in this case is a little more important than the rules of etiquette. Or rather, this is military etiquette. And he is a little different.

A blatant case of disrespect for others is to throw mud at pedestrians while driving.

Ladies must take off their hats and mittens indoors at any age, regardless of social status. But you can leave the hat and gloves.

You can and should hide nine basic facts from your biography from others. These are age, wealth, a breach in the house, words of prayer, connection with a lover, the nature of the gift, honor or dishonor and the composition of the drug taken.

When moving between rows in a theater or cinema, you should turn only to face those sitting. In this case, the woman always follows the man. It is he who needs to apologize to others for the inconvenience caused.

A man enters the restaurant first. In expensive restaurants, this factor determines who initiated the meeting and who will pay the bill at the end of the evening. The same applies to a group of guests. But if the door to the restaurant is opened by a doorman or the head waiter himself, the man should let the lady go first and only after that go to the selected table.

Touching a woman of any nature should only be with her permission. You should not touch a woman while talking, take her hand in yours, hold the woman above the elbow, or push her. A man can take a woman by the hand if he helps her get out of the car or vice versa get into it. Also, a man must offer his hand to a lady when she crosses the road.

Behave with dignity in any situation. For example, do not respond to a shout: “Hey, you!” You shouldn’t be like the person who treated you so disrespectfully. But you shouldn’t correct other people’s mistakes by pointing them out and lecturing others about manners and rules of good manners. Best example– your own.

Moderation in everything is one of the basic rules of etiquette. This applies to clothes, makeup and especially perfume. If in the evening you continue to catch the trail of your perfume or eau de toilette, know that those around you are suffocating. Even the most pleasant aroma can lead to tears and suffocation if there is too much of it.

If you consider yourself a real, well-mannered man (of course, if you are not a lady), you will never allow yourself to disparage a woman and show respect in any situation.

Even the most avid smokers ask a lady’s permission if they are going to smoke in her presence.

Always say hello first when entering any room. It doesn’t matter at all what position you occupy in society. Whether you are the mayor, the president, or the old lady next door. It is your sacred duty to say hello first.

The secret of correspondence is a holy secret for any person. Do not show personal correspondence to others and do not read such correspondence yourself. This also applies to overly jealous spouses. Remember, by rummaging through the pockets or phone of even the closest person, you show disrespect for him and, in addition, you hurt him painfully with your suspicions and mistrust.

Fashion – important thing in life modern man. But don't follow her blindly. Follow a simple rule: fashionable does not always mean good, and good does not mean unfashionable.

If you apologize and are forgiven, don't go back to where the fight started. A mistake that is repeated over and over again shows how inattentive a person is to others.

Laughter is a sign of a good mood. But laughing too loudly is a sign of bad taste. Just like the habit of looking at people or communicating too noisily in a group.

Words of gratitude have never made anyone unhappy. Thank your family and friends, friends and colleagues more often. If they are ready to help you and help you, although they are not obliged to do so, show them once again how important this is to you. After all, help can be needed at any moment in life.

Of course, remembering all these rules of good manners is not easy. But trying to follow them is half the battle. As Jack Nicholson once said: “ The purpose of all these very simple rules is to make life around us better. Living in a state of war with your parents and with others is extremely stupid. Minding our manners is the least we can do. And this is not an abstraction at all. This simplest language mutual respect between people».

Any communication begins with a greeting. When meeting an acquaintance on the street, a slight tilt of the head and the standard phrase “Hello!” or “Good afternoon!” If you enter a room, regardless of age and status, you are the first to say hello. If it happens in an office and a woman comes in, the man should get up from his chair. In some cases, he may kiss the lady's hand. The main thing is that this gesture is not misinterpreted.

Hand to hand

There are special rules of communication etiquette for handshakes. The first person to offer his hand is a person older in age and higher in seniority. social status. If these conditions are equal, take the initiative first. By the way, the woman is the first to extend her hand to the man, and not vice versa. Of course, if he does not occupy a higher position. If a group of people meets, women shake hands with women and men shake hands with men. Cross greetings are not permitted.

A decorous walk

Oddly enough, etiquette also applies on the street. The man should walk to the left of the woman. If the roadway is dirty or undergoing repairs, the man must stay outside sidewalk. When there are steps along the way, narrow passage or a crowd, the gentleman offers his hand to the lady. A woman is supposed to hang a closed umbrella on her wrist on a cord provided for this purpose. A man hangs an umbrella on his forearm or carries it in his hand, like a cane.

Gallantry and tact

When entering a room, a man must take off his hat and gloves. A woman can leave her headdress only if it is not a hat. If you come to the cinema or theater, the man first helps the lady take off her outerwear and only then undresses himself. When going up the stairs, he lets his companion go ahead, staying 2-3 steps behind. When walking between the rows of chairs to your seats, you should turn around to face those sitting. At the same time, the man leads the way.

In crowded but not mad

“The rules of behavior and etiquette in the elevator are very interesting. This is one of the few places where a man enters first without letting the lady pass. It is believed that an elevator can pose a threat, and a gentleman must make sure that there is no threat,” says etiquette specialist Alena Gil.

Children are the last to enter the elevator and the first to leave. It is strictly unacceptable to unceremoniously look at passengers in an elevator, or to put their hair or makeup in order.

Dear buyer

A store is a good place to show good manners. It is not necessary to say hello to the staff at the supermarket. Of course, if there are no greetings addressed to you. But when entering a small store, you definitely need to say hello to the seller. If you need help, you should address him on a first name basis, even if he is significantly younger. Try not to enter the store a few minutes before closing unless absolutely necessary.

Courtesy visit

The essence of the rules of etiquette at a party comes down to the following. Arriving late, like arriving early to a dinner party, is disrespectful. If you had to stay late, warn the owner. Be aware of topics that are best not brought up in small talk. These include politics, religion, money, illness and gossip. When going on a visit for no particular reason, take with you a symbolic gift in the form of fruits, sweets or a bottle of good wine.

Social dinner

It would be a good idea to learn some restaurant etiquette rules.

Tatiana Zelenskaya

Head of Etiquette School

“When you are seated at the table, fold the napkin in half and place it on your lap with the fold facing you. Keep your back straight and try not to touch the back of the chair.”

Under no circumstances should you “dive” your head into the plate. During the pause, women should keep their hands on their knees. Men are allowed to place their hands on the edge of the table.

Mobile etiquette

Mobile etiquette is more important than ever. A serious violation is considered to be a telephone placed on a table at a party or in a cafe. Moreover, it would be inappropriate to constantly check email, send messages or explore content social networks. If you receive an important call, apologize, leave your desk, and talk in a quiet place where you won't disturb anyone. In cinemas, theaters, and restaurants, the phone should be switched to silent mode.

Etiquette is a historical phenomenon. All rules of etiquette, which are expressed in certain forms of behavior, unite the moral, ethical and aesthetic aspects of life. The first side expresses moral standard: thoughtful care, respect, protection. The second side speaks of the beauty and grace of forms of human behavior.

to contents

to contents

Etiquette as a set of laws of communication

Already in ancient primitive society, during joint work, certain requirements and norms of behavior were developed for all members of society. The oldest codes of conduct that have survived to this day were created five thousand years ago. The ancient Chinese "Book of Historical Legends" lists five basic human positive qualities: philanthropy, loyalty, wisdom, respect for elders, courage.

Over time, new mores, customs, and morals appeared. Standards of behavior have been honed over centuries, merging into the concept of “etiquette” - a certain code of behavior, norms, responsibilities that people in different life situations.

to contents

Etiquette rules for kids

The youngest children already know how to wave goodbye or smile when they meet. Dads teach boys to offer their hands for a firm shake, and mothers introduce babies on the playground, even if the baby himself peeks out from behind the parents.

When raising a child, adults, without noticing it, teach him lessons in etiquette, rules of communication with peers (“Say hello to a friend,” “You can’t take away toys, you need to ask permission,” “A girl needs to be let ahead and protected”) and with elders (“Give flowers for mom”, “Go and meet dad from work”, “Help grandma carry the package”).

Later, children will learn to use cutlery, thank their mother for preparing lunch, and behave correctly when visiting and in public.

You need to teach your child the rules of etiquette from the very beginning. early age. It is a shame for schoolchildren who do not give up their seats on public transport to older people. And, as you know, the easiest way to teach a child is to by example. After all, his parents are both an authority and a role model for him. Follow the rules of etiquette yourself, and your child will know and apply them.

to contents

Communication with friends and loved ones

If friends constantly send various nonsense (pictures, unnecessary links) to your work inbox, distracting you from work, then the best way out is to ignore it. Install a spam filter and when asked if the pictures were received, answer that no, since they are filtered out as an attack.

If women try to extort personal details, you can either refuse to answer, or be frank, keeping silent about intimate details and not saying anything about a person behind his back that could not be said to his face.

If a girl has received an invitation to a party or to visit, but she is going to go there with a young man, you need to first ask the organizers of the holiday if it is possible to come not alone.

If, after a get-together in a cafe, friends decide to split the bill equally, you can make an excuse by saying that you didn’t intend to spend it today a large amount and pay only for yourself.

On a date you want to eat, then you need to boldly tell your gentleman about it, perhaps he will invite the lady to a cafe. But you should not order the most expensive dishes, because the visit to the restaurant was not planned, and the bill can put the man in an awkward position.

When breaking up, it is better to express everything in person, not limiting yourself to an email message; moreover, this will confirm your firm intentions not to meet again.

Should a woman accept an expensive gift from a fan to whom she is indifferent? The rules of etiquette leave this to the discretion of the woman herself, but this does not oblige her to anything. If the gift is unpleasant, you can return it with an explanation that it is not possible to give something of equal value.

If a man brags about his former successes on the personal front, you can safely explain to him that it is unpleasant for a woman to listen to this. As an argument, you can ask a man if he would like a story about a woman’s victories.

to contents

Etiquette rules when meeting parents

When meeting the parents of your other half, you want to make the best impression, remaining yourself and observing the norms of social etiquette.

There is no need to demonstrate your excitement, you should not try to hide it under the guise of feigned bravado and relaxedness, it is better to behave naturally.

It is not customary, when visiting potential relatives for the first time, to start a conversation about the furnishings and interior of the house. When sitting down at a set table, you need to take the place indicated by the owners of the house. Be sure to maintain an upright posture and not relax at the table.

There is no need to be overly active from the very beginning of acquaintance or take the initiative to talk. It is better to behave correctly and modestly and answer questions from the groom’s parents. On the very first day of meeting you should tell about yourself only when the owners themselves ask you to do so.

It would be rude to refuse the offered treat, otherwise you could seriously offend your potential mother-in-law. It is advisable to try all the treats offered by the hostess and be sure to express admiration for their taste.

You need to try to stretch out one glass of alcohol for the whole evening, without succumbing to the tricks of a cunning father-in-law or father-in-law, making toasts and adding alcohol.

Girls should not smoke when they first meet; young men can only smoke after an invitation from the owner.

If the reason for getting acquainted was any holiday, then you should take care of gifts for parents in advance. You cannot give pets as gifts, except in cases where it is known for certain that a specific animal is required. Perfumes, individual cosmetics and lingerie are also taboo, because only enough can study the tastes of the housewife close person. Shirts and ties are given only to relatives, so you should not present them to your future father-in-law or father-in-law on the first day of meeting them. It's better to choose beautiful flowers in neutral packaging, pick up good book.

There is no need to prolong your visit; you cannot stay too long visiting. When leaving home, you need to invite the parents of the bride or groom to visit in return.

to contents

Table manners

Eating etiquette is determined by traditions, national characteristics. But general rules are the same, every cultured person must know them at least.

Women are invited to the table first, and then men. Being late for lunch and dinner parties is considered unacceptable. They sit at the table, maintaining a certain comfort distance - not close, but not very far either.

sitting behind dining table, elbows should not be placed on the table, an exception is sometimes made for women, but only for a short period of time.

Buns and bread are taken by hand, broken, and not cut with a knife. You cannot bite into whole pieces of bread; small pieces are broken off. Even children are not allowed to roll bread crumbs into balls or play with cutlery or napkins. When eating, do not tilt your head low over the plate; carefully bring the spoon or fork to your mouth. You need to drink and eat silently, without slurping or sipping loudly. It is indecent to eat quickly, even if a person is very hungry.

The knife must be held right hand, and the fork with the left. However, they do not use a knife, according to the rules of etiquette, when eating spaghetti (you need to use a fork and a large spoon), seafood (you need to pick up crayfish with your hands, and prick shrimp with a fork; there are special tweezers for crabs, lobsters, lobsters), fish, jellies and puddings ( You can use a fork or spoon).

When Yuri Gagarin was invited after the flight to a reception with Queen of England to the palace and offered a treat, laying out a huge number of different forks and knives on the table, the great cosmonaut was embarrassed. Queen Elizabeth came to his aid, saying that although she grew up in the palace and knew the rules of etiquette by heart, she still did not remember the purpose of all these devices. If at a reception a person does not know how to behave, you can simply observe others or ask for advice.

to contents

Etiquette in a business atmosphere

By observing the rules of etiquette at work, a person forms his own positive, reliable image of a competent, knowledgeable, well-mannered partner. Experienced employers pay special attention to maintaining etiquette.

You need to be punctual and calculate the time correctly. You cannot say too much to others, discuss your employer and colleagues. You should think not only about yourself, but also about the interests of your partners.

You should dress according to the established norms of a particular society. It is imperative to monitor the correctness and purity of speech. Diction, intonation, pronunciation must be clear. It is unacceptable to use obscene words. The ability to listen to your interlocutor is a valuable quality.

Is it worth it for a modern, self-confident and beautiful girl adhere to any rules of etiquette? Definitely yes! If a girl lives in society, treats others with respect and expects to receive sympathy, goodwill and respect from others, and achieve some goals, then she not only has to, but even has to. What exactly should every young lady know?!

What is etiquette

Everyone has heard this unusual word, and in most cases it is associated with a lot of cutlery or aristocratic manners. Many consider it a relic that is not needed in Everyday life.

Indeed, before higher value paid attention to manners, especially in rich, aristocratic families or houses close to science and art. But even today you need to know and follow the basic rules of etiquette. A lot depends on this.

Etiquette is the rules of behavior that should guide a person in society.

One etiquette for everyone

The rules of behavior dictated by society show how well-mannered a person is and respects the people around him. From childhood, parents try to give their children a good upbringing. Knowing the norms and rules of behavior and observing them will allow the child to feel comfortable in society in the future.

Rules that everyone should know and follow:

Be polite and friendly with others.

Don't make noise, don't spit, don't litter in public places.

Men should stand up to greet those who approach.

When bringing a companion into the company, you need to introduce him.

At the table you cannot reach for anything over your neighbor’s plate; you must ask for something to be served.

Don't eat on the road or on the street (exception: ice cream or cotton candy in the park).

It is not difficult to remember the rules and norms of etiquette; moreover, most of them are applied by a well-mannered person every day.

How a well-mannered girl behaves at the table

Eating is one of the physiological needs, but you should not show animal instincts, especially in society. And even if alone you like to have a snack in front of the TV or stretch your legs during lunch on the next chair, sitting down with a magazine, then in the company you should limit your weaknesses and remember the rules of etiquette for a girl at the table.

Let's consider the most “strict” situation - a restaurant:

1. If a trip to a restaurant took place after the phrase “I invite...”, then the person who said it pays. If such an invitation did not follow, and this was common decision, then everyone pays for their own income. A man can pay for a woman with her permission.

2. The man takes the menu first, he hands it to the lady and asks her to make a choice. A man orders dishes for two.

3. You should not start eating until everyone at the table has received their order. If those waiting suggested not to wait for them, you can slowly try your dish. This rule is relevant for the first course; you can proceed to subsequent courses “without regard” to others.

4. The basic rules of table etiquette warn everyone: you should not rush, slurp, put your elbows on the table, wave your fork and talk while chewing!

5. The cotton napkin that is brought with the cutlery should be on the visitor’s lap.

6. If you decide to try something from a shared dish, be sure to use the utensils that were brought with it. They took it, put it down and immediately returned the common device to its place.

7. Remember to eat citrus fruits, cakes, cookies and bread with your hands.

8. Pour sugar to taste into a mug yourself and stir with a spoon. After this, the spoon is left on the edge of the saucer.

Etiquette at a party

Going on a visit is often a joyful and useful event. We enjoy visiting people who like us and accept us for who we are. But even among friends and relatives, you should not forget about the rules of etiquette when visiting. Their observance is a sign of respect for the hosts and other guests.

Seven simple rules:

1. You should not visit without an invitation and a preliminary call.

2. Being late is ugly! If you cannot arrive at the appointed time, call and warn the owners.

3. The rules of etiquette in society state that if you enter a room where other guests have already gathered, you must say hello first.

4. Even if you have some problems, it is better not to talk about them. Try to have a fun, relaxed conversation and not burden others with your worries.

5. Guest etiquette tells you what to do when you need to leave before others. Be sure to thank the owners, apologize and say goodbye. You don’t have to disturb the rest and leave quietly, unnoticed.

6. Even if you go to visit for no reason, you should not show up empty-handed, especially if there are children in the house. The rules of etiquette for girls do not oblige the fair sex to buy a cake or other sweets, but such care and attention will be pleasant to the owners.

7. “Whoever goes to visit in the morning acts wisely,” said the domestic Winnie the Pooh. Unless you are a bear cub, you should avoid visiting too early or too late.

How to behave as a decent girl in society

As you know, society greatly influences a person. Being in the company of intelligent, well-mannered, successful people, I don’t want to be ignorant. The rules of etiquette for a girl are designed to help the young lady “not fall face down in honest company.” By observing this small code, she will be able to conquer others not only with her appearance, but also with her manners and upbringing.

1. If the greeter said, “Good afternoon,” you should respond in the same way, and not just say, “Good.”

2. If you are leaving or entering a room, hold the door for the person following you.

3. Be kind, polite and reserved.

4. Do not make comments to either children or adults.

5. If you go to the cinema, theater or concert, then you need to make your way to your seat facing the people sitting. The man goes first, followed by the lady. Don't forget to turn off your cell phone sound.

6. A girl can wear a hat and gloves indoors, but she must definitely take off her hat and mittens.

7. You cannot speak loudly, laugh, discuss or use foul language: the rules of etiquette in society prohibit this for absolutely everyone!

Rules of clothing etiquette

A woman's appearance depends on her age, fashion, activity and internal state. There are ladies who are watched very closely by the press. For example, celebrities, royalty or first ladies cannot afford to relax, especially in public. The rules of etiquette for a girl include recommendations for choosing a wardrobe and creating your own image, so that anyone looks no worse than a duchess:

Interpersonal communication in society requires each person to comply with certain norms and rules of behavior. The rules and norms of human behavior in society are known under the concept of etiquette. The main purpose of etiquette is to protect the honor and dignity of a person when communicating in society. Historically, the norms and rules of etiquette developed a long time ago. In each state they were enshrined in special laws, the observance of which was strictly monitored.

Etiquette in society implies the unity of a person’s high internal morality with externally worthy manners. Only such harmony of the internal and external “I” makes it possible to make a person’s behavior sincere and natural.

Modern etiquette is universal and contains global rules and norms, although each nation makes its own additions to it based on national and cultural traditions.

Etiquette contains norms of behavior that regulate a person’s actions in various public places. Based on this, there are different kinds etiquette corresponding to the places where a person finds himself.

Business etiquette regulates the rules and norms of behavior in the workplace.

Diplomatic etiquette is the rules of conduct for members of the diplomatic corps when communicating with representatives of the country in which it is located. It regulates the procedure for visits, diplomatic receptions and meetings.

Military etiquette is the rules of conduct for military personnel, defining a strict hierarchy and unquestioning adherence to the orders of senior ranks.

General civil etiquette - rules and regulations governing everyday communication between people. Respectful attitude towards elders, men towards women, between passengers in transport.

The rules of etiquette are not absolute and should be followed depending on the situation. What is unacceptable in one case may be the norm in other circumstances.

Etiquette norms are, as a rule, unwritten rules, unlike morality, but knowledge of them is an important part of the formation of a person’s internal culture. Cultured man not only accepts these rules, but also strictly follows them not only in public places, but also at home. The basis for the formation of internal etiquette is goodwill, responsibility and dignity. In addition, etiquette is impossible without tact and a sense of proportion, which should be inherent in every well-mannered person. Being friendly to people and at the same time having a sense of proportion will help you present yourself with dignity in any situation.

Thus, etiquette in society requires a person to constantly cultivate an internal culture based on a respectful attitude towards the entire society.