How to forget the past and start a new life? Life with a clean slate. How to forget and start a new life: tips

In the life of every person there are moments that he would like to forget, throw out of his head and never remember. But our memory is designed in such a way that memories emerge on their own. Sometimes it is simply impossible to get rid of them. So what can be done to “erase” from our heads that which so painfully reminds us of what is unnecessary, forcing us to return to the past and preventing us from living in the present?

A well-forgotten past is the key to a happy future

As long as a person is tormented by memories of the past, he cannot live in the present, much less build. A happy person in the present is one who does not remember past troubles and problems; he lives for today, enjoying every second. That is why you need to rid yourself of the bitter disappointments of the past and start living in the present.

Strong irritants cause, no less, but they leave their mark on each person. If you try, but cannot forget an event, it means that this event was so strong that subconsciously you return to it again and again.

It is simply impossible to consciously forget this or that event. The more effort we put into this, the worse it gets. It sounds funny, but try not to think about the pink hare now. Does not work? That's the whole point! Our brain acts in the opposite way - our imagination draws a pink hare in all shades and details. It’s the same with past grievances - the more we suffered, the more difficult it is to forget.

What prevents us from forgetting the past

There are factors that prevent us from forgetting the past and living in the present.

Environment.

If you continue to live or work among those people who once hurt you, or those with whom you shared the same problem, it will be difficult for you to forget the past. For example, your friends witnessed your marriage, and after your spouse’s betrayal, and then separation, you still continue to communicate with them. You want to forget the divorce and what preceded it, but people around you remind you of those days when you had so much fun together.

Limit communication with those people who, in your opinion, stir up difficult memories.

Wordless witnesses of human existence are things. People are accustomed to endowing them with special properties that are not inherent to them. A banal picture hanging on the wall that is associated with the person who gave it to you. Get rid of such things, no matter how expensive they are, and no matter how hard it is for you to part with them.

Avoid places where you have had troubles. Perhaps this is a cafe in which you were treated rudely or a park in which you said goodbye to a loved one.

Expectation.

The controversial statement that time heals works perfectly in this situation. Human life is fickle, events rapidly replace each other, and negative emotions are replaced by positive ones. If you do not attach importance to what happened, most likely, very little time will pass and you will forget about the trouble. It will come to mind as a mistake you made in the past and will not be repeated. Give time as a healer to heal your wounds, but do not forget that you cannot sit and wait for recovery.

Another angle of view.

Try to look at the problem from a different angle. Maybe you're screwing yourself over, and the trouble isn't worth even a fraction of the attention you give it. There is a category of people who are able to “make a molehill out of a molehill.” Where there is no trace of an unpleasant situation, they can frame everything in their heads in such a way that they themselves experience it. Therefore, rethink the current situation, consult with a loved one, and draw appropriate conclusions.

Don't focus your attention on negative experiences. Just because you're unlucky twice in a row doesn't mean you're a failure. Simply, this is how the circumstances developed, and tomorrow you will definitely be doubly lucky. Drive away negative thoughts from yourself, try to do so that they at least do not oppress you and do not interfere with your life.

We can give a couple of examples that will demonstrate the unconstructive behavior of those who blame “evil fate” for all troubles:

You have been laid off at work. This was five years ago. You were offended because you good specialist, but left those who are younger or have different good reasons. Having enjoyed your grievance to your heart's content, you went into business, and today you are a fairly wealthy and successful entrepreneur. Think about what would happen to you if you stayed at your previous job? A monthly salary, the size of which will not allow you to make ends meet, and eternal debts. Would you be able to buy expensive things, fly abroad on vacation, or afford to dine in a restaurant? No! A negative experience directed your efforts in the right direction, and now you would never return to that job. Therefore, the day when you were so offended for yourself can be considered the starting point of success;
You separated from your husband. He turned out to be not the same person he was when he was courting you. But the light did not converge on him like a wedge. There are many men around you who are truly worthy of attention. But you are busy with your own experiences, and do not see anyone around. As a rule, if a woman decides to do so, after a while she meets someone who will truly love and appreciate her. And vice versa, when she “collects the pieces” of a broken relationship, sooner or later she remains lonely.

At the moment when a misfortune occurs, it seems as if the world is collapsing around you, and nothing can stop this process. Moreover, it is difficult to imagine that everything will definitely work out. Therefore, take a blank sheet of paper and write down on one side positive sides what happened, on the other – negative. And starting tomorrow, start building a new, bright future:

Change your surroundings.

A trip will help replace negative emotions with positive ones. It doesn’t matter where or what you go on, the main thing is to get away from routine and everyday life. On the trip, you can make new friends, learn something new and interesting about the world in which you are lucky to live, relax your soul and heart, and take your mind off heavy thoughts.

Set a goal for yourself. Ten days ago you wouldn’t even think about it. But now the situation has developed in such a way that you have decided to act. Break your goal down into steps to achieve it, and get started today! Busy important matter the brain is unlikely to be distracted by trifles - past troubles and misfortunes.

Dianetics.

This is the name of a science that studies the stages of influence of various factors on the level of human perception of them over time. Close your eyes, concentrate, and sequentially “look through” in detail every nuance that you remember from the past misfortune. This needs to be done not once, not twice, not ten times. It may take dozens of “views” before the feelings begin to dull and the problem does not seem so global.

Speak.

Each of us has those people to whom we trust our innermost secrets. Take advantage of their help, ask to listen to you and talk about this situation. From the outside you can see better, so your “global” problem can become an ordinary soap bubble that will crumble into dust with the help of your friend’s explanations. In addition, when you talk through the situation, you yourself will understand how much is far-fetched and ridiculously absurd in it.

Don't beat yourself up.

It “seems” to you that a friend, co-worker or relative is offended by you. To prevent conflict from arising, and as a consequence, negative emotions, talk to the person and find out if this is really the case.

Fear of repeating the situation.

As a rule, grief, which does not bypass any of us, leaves a mark on the soul. We are afraid of this happening again, we are afraid of experiencing this again. Therefore, do not restrain yourself, do not force yourself to forget or calm down. Grieve until you feel better.

We would all like to forget many moments from the past, like horrible dream. But what is a person without experience, without personal mistakes and suffering experienced? It’s not for nothing that they say that happiness not achieved through suffering is never complete. So live life to the fullest, experience sincere emotions, fear grief, but do not forget that our experience and mistakes only make us stronger.

The past is forgotten, the future is closed, the present is given
(c) m/f “Kung Fu Panda”

To fully live in the present, the past must be left behind.

You probably yourself understand that it is important to stop focusing on failures and old problems, regretting your mistakes, getting angry at past offenders...

In general, remove everything that pulls you back and move forward with joy...

Today we will talk about how to stop living in the past.

Looking only at the past is like walking backwards along the road: you can see nothing but your old footprints. Sometimes a goal may not be realized only because, in fact, you are going towards it simply out of an old habit, but you yourself have long outgrown it and lost interest in it.

7 practices on how not to judge yourself for your past life

1. Decide to work on how to stop living in the past.

“Cure” will not happen on its own - you must make a choice: “” and start acting. It’s good that now you don’t need to “cut the tail piece by piece”, picking and working through each injury for years.

In today's energy environment, healing occurs in a complex manner.

2. Send love and forgiveness to your past self.

Continuing to scold yourself for mistakes, “wrong choices” and actions is a sure way to live in the past all your life.

Just accept that in the past you acted as best you could, based on your “then” knowledge, capabilities, and level of awareness.

Without you, the “previous” you would not be the current you. And in difficult moments in the past you felt very scared or sad, you may have experienced confusion and uncertainty, do not feel anyone's support.

Reach out to your past self. love and sympathy. Just remember yourself in one of the difficult moments and direct there the light of your love, caring attention. Tell yourself the words you needed so much at that moment.

Some people scold themselves for having voluntarily or unwittingly caused pain to others; for having made a “wrong” decision at some point in life.
Others manage to condemn themselves even for the fact that they allowed themselves to be treated poorly in the past - they did not protect themselves from the offender, they did not leave the tyrant man in time.

3. Heal your pain and trauma

It is old, unhealed wounds that stir the soul and force us to live in the past. Some are as fresh as if it happened yesterday.
You need to heal yourself. This - basic action on the way to an easy and free life.

Alena Starovoitova developed it especially for this (video from it complements this article).

4. Thank the past for wisdom.

No matter how difficult the situation was, after going through it, you became better, wiser, stronger.

If right now you are worried about some specific traumatic situations from the past, do the technique "Pearls of Wisdom".

Think and write down a few points - what do you need? this situation taught me, this act, this person, how your life has changed, what you realized and comprehended thanks to that incident.

What you write are pearls of wisdom. Keep them for yourself, present. And the rest of the burden of that situation release with gratitude. You took the most important thing from it.

5 More Ways to Find Pearls of Wisdom from a Traumatic Event.

5. Forgive people from your past

Eternally holding anger at your offenders, you will never stop living in the past.
In fact, those people who hurt you “once upon a time” no longer exist. You have changed, they have changed. In fact, these are already different people.

Those with whom you are angry or offended for the past are no longer them, they are them psychological doubles in your consciousness and memory. And you can always come to an agreement with your memory and consciousness.

An important note - if grievances from the past affect relationships with people from your present (family members, friends) - you need to work here especially tactfully, without disturbing their spiritual space.

In the article you will learn how to change the polarity - move from hatred to love and forgive offenders.

6. Recognize and rewrite old scripts

The scenario is behavior “on the beaten track”, riding on old rails. It has registered itself in the subconscious and forces you to step on the same rake over and over again.

Such scenarios are important find and rewrite. There are special exercises for this. For example, at the master class, Alena invited the participants to perform a bright creative action that “replaces a picture.” One of the participants performed a ritual: she melted the ice from the refrigerator, like the ice of a relationship.

You can come up with something of your own.

Scripts are a machine that clicks somewhere inside and forces you to react and act in a pattern over and over again. Traumas from the past cannot simply be erased. But you can consciously work through them. And rewrite ineffective scenarios into more successful ones.

7. Focus on the present!

Just transfer yours attention to the present, right at this moment. How are you dressed? What do you want right now? Is your body comfortable? What is your joy now? What do you value in your current life?

You will see how a lot of energy, joy and possibilities in your present!

Increased efficiency, perseverance, attention to detail, knowledge in areas that were previously inaccessible - all this came along with the new wave. And it began at the moment when another blockage of old energy was cleared...

P.S. And one of these opportunities is to pass. Three whole hours of exciting, bright and useful work on yourself, together with like-minded people and an excellent coach!

If you are looking for a way to stop living in the past, .

How to forget the past and start living in the present? If you ask yourself, it means that you not only regularly remember the past, but live in it (!) - in what happened a year, five, ten, twenty years ago.

In the present time you are present as if “automatically” - but with your mind and soul in past events. And both good and unpleasant.

An example of how a person feels more comfortable in the past is a meeting with graduates: with what enthusiasm they prepare for it and anticipate the joy of the event. Ask yourself why? Why is it more interesting for an adult to meet former classmates who, in fact, have become strangers to each other over many years, than to get carried away with their own affairs in the present time? Yes, because at school/institute there were fewer worries, responsibilities... youth, entertainment. And in the present there is adult fuss.

It’s like sitting in a movie theater and watching a film that you’ve seen many times before and you know exactly how it’s going to end. But you continue to watch, instead of getting up and going out into the street, where real life is seething, not the cinematic one! For what? Because in the cinema you simply watch what is happening, the on-screen characters decide and act instead of you.

That's the secret of how to forget the past? To live in the present, you need to take responsibility for it, be a source of your own employment and interest.

And this is more difficult than chewing popcorn and mindlessly watching how one event in a movie follows another. It's about a pleasant past. A…

How to forget a difficult past?

Especially those that ended in a breakup or the loss of a loved one?

There is one significant factor here - in the most traumatic moments of the past, a lot of a person’s energy gets stuck, which uncontrollably pulls him there, he seems to fall out of the present and completely lives in past tragedies.

Especially in past relationships! For example, who left you when, at the moment of a breakup, stress, despair, fear, hopelessness, tears, resentment seem to be encapsulated - but this is all your energy! Which is so lacking in order to start living in the present.

What to do?

• return your thoughts to an unpleasant incident,
• Do you understand what was lost there, without your consent?
• How did you feel at the time of the breakup? What emotion did you experience? What thoughts came to mind?
• cry over what happened (if you really want to), feel sorry for yourself,
• feel that fear
• and what angered you then, infuriated you the most?

Live everything listed in a new way, here and now. Has it become easier?

Reliving and remembering are completely different things. The first one delivers, the second one adds mental burden.

How to forget past relationships?

• What was special about that connection that was more important than in this life?
• What benefit do you get by constantly remembering the past and ignoring the present?
• What are you clinging to in something long gone? What are you trying to get back?
• How has your self-esteem suffered?
• Who are you offended by - and why?
• Who do you think is to blame for your past troubles? Who do you want to take revenge on?

Being angry is the same as drinking poison and waiting for someone else to get poisoned... Resentment and discontent are very similar to poison.

Thus, by analyzing the situation piece by piece, sincerely, without self-deception, a person frees his energy particles and takes them back to himself, into the present. How can we understand that this happened?

• mood improves, head clears,
• “a weight off your shoulders” and a “stone off your soul” is removed
• there is more physical activity and a desire to promote your business.

3 more secrets on how to forget the past?

• live in the present so that you don’t want to forget it in the future,
• give more to others than you receive and demand for yourself. Give with help, care, love, the opportunity to listen. The ability to give requires presence in the present tense,
• “Keep busy. This is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective." Dale Carnegie is right. When in real life one event is immediately replaced by a new one, you will simply not have enough memories.)

The most important way to forget the past?

• love your present. Accept it as is. Look around... Your current life is probably not so unbearable that you need to escape into the past or future. Surely, there are those nearby who love, support, and worry about you. Only for the sake of these people is it necessary to be here and now, to appreciate the time spent with them, and not to forget about what is long gone...

Be present. And love. What I sincerely wish for you.

These three ways really help you forget the past. For maximum effectiveness, I recommend combining them with each other.

To leave the negative past behind and gain complete control over your life, register for Alexander Gerasimenko’s training “” (June 8-9, Moscow).

The first way to forget the past

Reception of NLP. Imagine a wall with photographs from different moments of your life pasted on it. Here you are going to school, here is your first love, here you have earned your first penny, now a nightmare happens that you are trying to forget... All significant and even some ordinary moments of your life should be on this wall. Imagine all the photographs in color, just negative event- black and white. Step back and look at the wall of your life from the outside. See how much color there is and how small in scale this black and white photograph is. Now mentally shrink it to a size of 3 by 4 cm. Next, continue to “glue” photographs on the wall of your life. Glue the future. Continue filling the wall with paints. Any of your dreams, pleasant moments, vacations, your children, how they go to school... Images in which you help other people. Pictures where people admire you. As a result, a black and white photo will be surrounded on all sides by color photographs that go far away from it. You look at the wall and realize that the incident you want to forget is just a single event. It has its boundaries, it is local and now occupies only an insignificant part of the wall of your life. This black and white photo is not your life. Your life is colorful, bright and desirable.

As a result of this exercise, negative memories were localized, and a life full of happiness and events appeared around them. You have not forgotten the past, you have limited it, and it no longer extends to the present and the future.

The second way to forget the past

Replay in your imagination a depressing, shocking event from your past that you want to forget. Yes, I encourage you to delve into this terrible past that you are so afraid of. But do it in a special way - in the form of a black and white movie with funny music on background. Turn on the movie and take your seat in the back rows of the theater. Insert laughter from the audience in the audience into your movie. Add hysterical laughter here and there. Play some scenes backwards to make the film funnier. Play your movie until you are no longer afraid of it.

By adding cheerful sounds and distorting the picture, playing it backwards, you can “color” the black and white memories of your past and change your attitude towards them. This technique allows you to correct your memory. You will do the same thing you did in school with a deuce in your diary using a blade. You erased it and drew a four in its place. The “diary” of your life will look great after this exercise, and you will be able to stop worrying about “bad grades” in the past.

The third way to forget the negative past

This method is very practical. It doesn't involve playing with your own mind and not only helps you forget disturbing memories, but also changes the way you think about what happened to you in the past.

I will explain it in metaphorical terms. To begin with, imagine that the past that you need to forget is a nuclear reactor. Even after years, it emits radiation and poisons everything around it. The lives of people living nearby, that is, yours, are infected. You can no longer smell flowers because your sense of smell gives out all the smells distorted. You can feel the fumes from a burnt-out power plant everywhere, which haunts you even in your sleep. Radiation must be eliminated. The reactor must be concreted and the event buried in the past. Yes and please. Concrete!

If your memories bother you and you sit in the kitchen and think “how to forget them,” then you just stir up the ashes and blow on them. Memories continue to poison life. In another case, you may want to escape from painful thoughts and sit down in front of the TV. This does not work. This is the same as covering a radioactive source with oilcloth.

Remember to forget the unpleasant past, it must be concreted. How can I do that? Simple - burying the source of the explosion under massive actions. Our memory is limited in its capabilities and cannot retain everything that we have experienced. The more active actions we took, the more we experienced, the more layers of “concrete” will cover the event that you want to forget.

Those. massive actions that require your 100% attention and will be concrete for an exploded reactor. Keep yourself busy with exciting activities. It's very difficult, you know, to worry about the past when you're skiing down the mountain. It is unlikely that you will remember the negativity that haunts you at the moment when you speak from the podium in front of a large audience.

You need to start laying layers of concrete that don't let your past into your present and future. Take bright, bold, proactive actions and your past will remain in the past.

5 effective tips on how to forget the past in order to start living in the present and find happiness in the future.

Past, present and future - this is what human life consists of.

Despite the presence of many science fiction films, man has not yet learned to travel into the past in order to be able to correct his mistakes or prevent a tragedy.

This is why it is so important to know how to forget the past to start living in the present in order to find happiness in the future.

Are those who try to forget the past right?

People in relation to the events that occurred are divided into 3 groups:

1. Those who prefer to constantly tinker in the past rather than move into the future.
2. Those who do not learn any lessons from their past at all, galloping into the future.
3. Those who remember and respect their past, but focus on the future.

Representatives of the third group demonstrate the most optimal attitude towards their past.

Any person makes many decisions during his life, commits a lot of actions, experiences enough happy moments and disappointments.

It is from our mistakes that we learn, so we cannot completely erase the past.

But some things that happened to us in the past (like a difficult divorce or an encounter with a criminal) are best let go, otherwise you will never be able to move on or find happiness in the future.

The past will hold you in its tenacious paws, not allowing you to spread your wings.

The most common cases of stupidly clinging to their past are women who cannot say goodbye to old relationships, forget the insults caused by their boyfriend, and finally focus on new relationships.

Have you ever noticed that it is the ladies who tell everyone about their divorce, about what a bastard their ex-husband was, although 5 years have passed since their divorce and the “bastard” has long found happiness in another marriage, are doomed to loneliness?

Take a closer look at such aunts and you will understand that I am right.

Until they find a way to forget the past and find the strength within themselves to make room for the future, there will be no point.

How to forget the past without harming the present?

I have already said that I consider the most reasonable position to be “remember the past, but focus on the future.”

After all, not only bad things happened to us in the past, but also good things, and if you try to completely forget the past, you will forget not only grief, but also joy, right?

Well, let's imagine this story.

Girl Marina in a beauty salon.

She started as an administrative assistant, and within 5 years she rose to the rank of director.

Her successful career was interrupted by the intrigues of the salon accountant, and Marina was forced to quit.

But to completely forget the past means to forget all the knowledge and skills that she received at previous place work, all the pleasant moments of communication with a good team, all the material bonuses, the joy of every promotion, etc.

That is, you need to try to forget the past wisely: take everything good and useful with you into the future, filtering out everything bad so that it does not darken your life.

What prevents us from forgetting the past?

Surely every person has experienced this at least once, but there has been a situation when, despite all your efforts, your thoughts constantly return to some action or event in your past.

Well, I just can’t seem to let go of everything.

Don't worry, you're fine.

There are quite objective reasons that prevent you from forgetting the past.

Here are the most common ones:

Guilt.

The past often does not let go of those guilty of some crime or even a minor misdemeanor.

The more conscientious a person is, the heavier the burden of his guilt will be.

If you did something bad without malicious intent, then you simply must finally forgive yourself.

But the surest way to forget the past and say goodbye to feelings of guilt is to try to correct the situation: return what was taken away, ask for forgiveness for the offense caused, try to somehow compensate for the loss.

You will immediately feel better.

The desire to return to the past.

Sometimes you need to forget not so much the bad things that happened in your past, but the good things.

Most illustrative example foolish clinging to the past, because it was much better there than now - the loss of property and position in society by the elite after wars or other cataclysms.

This was the case in the USA after Civil War and the Great Depression, in Europe - after the First World War, in Russia - after the Revolution of 1917.

The nobility and large entrepreneurs, who had lost their capital, palaces and titles, forced to adapt to a new life, spent all their energy on whining and complaints, not wanting to let go of the past and live in the present.

How can you forget the past? Say goodbye to him forever!

Rituals are very important in any business.

Once upon a time, at one of the trainings, I heard an interesting idea that a marriage cannot be considered a marriage until it has undergone a ritual.

When we, young and modern, buzzed indignantly, the coach explained to us what she meant: not a stamp in a passport, but a ritual.

Decide for yourself what it will be: a traditional painting in the registry office, a wedding in a church, or some kind of playful ceremony on the seashore with friends, but without a ritual - nothing.

Rituals can also be used if you cannot forget the past.

With what ceremony you say goodbye to them is your business.

If we are talking about ex-husband, you can take all his things and throw them away.

You can get rid of previously inflicted insults on you by writing a letter to all your offenders: “I forgive you for such and such...”, and then burn this letter.

You can come up with your own fun ritual, the main thing is to effectively say goodbye to your past, forget it as quickly as possible and start rapidly moving forward.

Forgetting the past is not easy, I admit that.

Sometimes you have to use your entire arsenal of means to finally start living in the present.

Here are a few more for you useful tips which will definitely help:

Don't look back.

Train yourself not to say: “But if I had done this then...” or “But before...”.

The past cannot be returned and corrected.

Focus on the present and on achieving your goals in the future.

Live today so that you don't have to regret the past.

Every day gives us so many opportunities to change our lives for the better.

But for some reason, not everyone is in a hurry to take advantage of these opportunities, preferring to be nostalgic for what once was.

1. Don't be afraid of change.

   No matter how much you love stability, you need to understand that nothing in this world lasts forever.

   Everything changes.

   You need to change with this world, otherwise you will quickly find yourself left behind.

   In addition, many changes can only benefit you and not harm you.

   Enter your email and receive new articles by email