Rules of conduct for a good person. Important etiquette rules

Unfortunately, we are not always taught this at school. But many people are interested in the rules of behavior among friends and in the company of unfamiliar people. How to make a culture of etiquette a part of your life and become a welcome member of any company?

Norms and rules of behavior in society apply to all forms of human interaction with the outside world. Well-mannered behavior implies that a person reacts correctly to any events and does not respond with outbursts of anger to negativity.

The formation of personality begins in childhood, therefore most of Responsibility for upbringing lies with the parents. It is adults who must instill in the child love for loved ones, respect for others and, of course, rules good manners. And you need to do this not only with words, but also with your own example.

The next stage of personality development is self-education. Persistent and purposeful movement along this path builds character, allows you to consciously develop the most valuable human qualities and learn the rules of behavior accepted in society. There should be no excuses here, because today there are all the necessary resources for self-education - a wide network of libraries, theaters, television, the Internet. The main thing is not to absorb the entire flow of information, but to learn to select the most valuable grains of truth.

To develop a culture of behavior, focus on aesthetic self-education. It develops a sense of beauty, teaches you to correctly understand and perceive the beauty of nature and art, and enjoy communication in a positive way. But it’s worth making a reservation: simply knowing and applying the rules of behavior accepted in our society is not enough. Lies and pretense are unacceptable here - in the heart for real well-mannered person There is only room for natural politeness, sensitivity and tact.

Listen first, then speak. Do not interrupt your interlocutor - you will have time to express your point of view later.

Basic norms and rules of behavior in society

Kindness and consideration for others are the most important rules of social behavior. But the list of good manners is quite extensive. Let's consider the main ones:

1. Think not about yourself, but about others. People around us prioritize sensitivity over selfishness.
2. Show hospitality and friendliness. If you invite guests, treat them as your closest people.
3. Be polite in your interactions. Always say greetings and farewells, thank for gifts and services provided not only in word, but also in deed. A letter of gratitude, although it seems like a relic of the past, will be appropriate and pleasant for the recipient.
4. Avoid bragging. Let others judge you by your actions.
5. Listen first, then speak. Do not interrupt your interlocutor - you will have time to express your point of view later.
6. Don't point and stare at people piercing gaze. This confuses them, especially disabled people.
7. Don't violate someone else's personal space - for example, don't get too close to people you don't know and don't wear stuffy perfume. Never smoke in public without asking permission from your interlocutors, especially in the presence of non-smokers - no one likes it.
8. Avoid criticism and complaints. A person with good manners tries not to offend people with negative statements and does not complain about fate.
9. Stay calm in all situations. Anger not only leads to unnecessary conflicts with others, but also brings dissonance into your own inner world. Control your speech so as not to raise your voice, even if you start to get nervous.
10. Be punctual. Being late shows that you don't know how to plan your day and don't value other people's time.
11. Keep your word. An unfulfilled promise can lead to real tragedy in the life of the person you hope for.
12. Repay your debts on time. Failure to comply with this rule often becomes the reason not only for the cessation of friendship and good relationships, but also for serious enmity.

Correct behavior in the company of business people

In the business environment, as well as in social life, there is a certain etiquette. It largely repeats the basic rules of behavior of people in society, but it also has its own nuances. Knowing the norms of business etiquette, you will receive recognition in the world successful people, you can quickly build a career or promote your own company to a leading market position. Of course, in business it is not enough to just be a well-mannered person, but by following the rules of business etiquette, you will achieve success much faster.

• Punctuality. One of the fundamental tenets of the business world is “time is money.” You can negotiate brilliantly, present presentations charismatically, manage staff professionally, but... “stealing” someone else’s time by being constantly late negates the entire effect of positive qualities. An unpunctual person does not inspire trust and respect and is unlikely to find permanent partners among successful large companies. Correct behavior in society business people requires clear planning of the working day and complete control over the course of events.
• Dress code. Appearance is a person’s business card, which tells about his character and inner world more than any words. A provocative appearance shows protest against the laws and foundations of society, and this is not accepted in business world. But a strict business suit, neat hairstyle and harmoniously selected accessories indicate that a person is ready to obey universal rules and work in a single team.
• Grammatically correct speech. Mumbling under your breath or using slang words will ruin even the most correct appearance. If you do not have the innate gift of expressing thoughts clearly, work in this direction. Speech to the point, without unnecessary lyrical digressions, will help you find mutual language with colleagues and clients and will be a good help for moving up the career ladder.
• Maintaining trade secrets. In life they don’t like talkers and gossips, and in the business world they don’t like disloyal employees. Disclosure of company secrets can not only cause dismissal, but also cause difficulties with subsequent employment - the spy immediately ends up on the secret “black list” of unreliable employees.

• Respect. A professional must show courtesy to his partners, clients and colleagues. The ability to listen to other people's arguments without argument or criticism and to discuss disagreements in a constructive and positive way is an invaluable quality of a business person.
• Mutual assistance. You need to help your colleagues in word and deed, especially those who have recently worked with you. In most cases, good comes back to us a hundredfold.
• Responsibility. Everyone knows that at work you need to work. However, many employees spend work time for chatter and personal matters. This is direct irresponsibility in relation to the common cause. It’s not so bad if it only affects the idlers themselves. But the failure of an important project can leave the company without profit and employees without wages.
• Telephone etiquette. Business meeting over the phone require a special approach, because at a distance it is impossible to establish visual and emotional contact with the interlocutor. To leave a positive opinion about yourself, do not interrupt your interlocutor, speak clearly and clearly, ask questions only to the point. If we talk about telephone etiquette within the company, then try to avoid personal calls during working hours - they distract the attention of other employees and position you as a frivolous talkative person.

It is perhaps impossible to list all the rules and norms of human behavior in society and at work. To be considered a well-mannered person, do not forget the basics of etiquette and show people the same attitude that you want for yourself.

It's never too late to engage in self-education. If you decide to radically change your behavior and become stylish and modern, then you need to learn the basic rules of etiquette and learn good manners.

• Harmony of soul, body and mind. Such a harmonious connection allows you to be happy, which is what most representatives of the fair half of humanity dream of.
• Each of them wants to love and be loved, do interesting things, feel respected and have a good reputation in society. But all this is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. Behind this lies a lot of work and hard work on yourself.
• Becoming a real lady is not an easy task. For this, it is not enough to dress well, have a beautiful and well-groomed appearance and do what you love. You must have an inner charm that will allow you to attract interest in your personality
• This often happens when outwardly beautiful girl becomes uninteresting literally after 5 minutes of dialogue with her. Whereas a girl who is not very attractive in appearance, but at the same time quite self-confident, is able to attract the attention of others. She is polite, modest, knows how to carry on a conversation correctly, and has good manners in her behavior.
• Good behavior cannot go unnoticed. However, in modern life It is extremely rare to find morally and spiritually strong personality, especially among young people. Therefore, it is never too late to engage in self-education. And we’ll look at how a girl can learn good manners in this article.

Girl has bad manners

First of all, let's look at what manners of behavior will never make a girl a real lady. So, bad manners.

• Increased curiosity in communication
• Gossip with friends
• Humiliation of the interlocutor's personality
• Snitching in a team
• meanness
• Vulgarity and rudeness
• Complacency

This is just a short list of those manners that you need to literally “erase” from your character. And this process must begin immediately.

Adult girl etiquette

A cultured person is, first of all, polite and tactful. To cultivate such qualities in yourself, you need to learn to clearly monitor your emotions and thoughts, that is, control yourself. For example, you are walking in the park, and suddenly someone rushes by at full speed and accidentally pushes you to the side. Naturally, the first thought that comes to your mind on a subconscious level is strong indignation. And it is precisely at this moment that you must control that your emotions do not turn into action, and that rude words do not “fly” out of your mouth in pursuit of the person who pushed you.

Important: You must learn to calmly and slowly perceive everything that happens around you. This will prevent you from committing rash acts.

Now think about what behavior might irritate people. This list is likely to be quite impressive, so you can list them on a piece of paper. Arrogance, loud laughter, swearing, smell of alcohol, etc. Work to ensure that there are no such moments in your behavior.

Watch how they behave cultured people in society, on the street, in public transport. Try to instill such character traits in yourself. Behave modestly, do not argue in situations where this issue does not concern you. Do not show that you are smarter, more beautiful and more modern than your interlocutor. Remember that politeness and modesty have always adorned a person.

Etiquette for a 21st century girl. Etiquette of a modern girl

Now we’ll talk in more detail about how a modern girl should behave in society, at work, at a party, when communicating with her man, with her friends, we’ll look at a girl’s clothing etiquette and decent behavior.

Speech etiquette for a girl

Let's start, perhaps, with the fact that speech etiquette For a girl, this is not a simple game of memorized phrases. You need to learn how to communicate correctly with people in order to win over your interlocutor. You don't need any special knowledge for this. It is enough for your speech to be filled with politeness towards your interlocutor. When choosing a form of greeting, fill it with feelings, do not forget to show with all your appearance that meeting a person is really pleasant for you. You can say hello different ways: kisses, handshakes or just a kind word. The main thing is that it be heard by those to whom it is addressed, and not by everyone around. You should not pause during a meeting.

Never be afraid to say hello first, even if the man in front of you is a stranger. Remember that the one who is better mannered says hello first.

Video: Features of speech etiquette

• Suppose you are invited to visit. There is no need to follow those rules that say “guests are always late.” It's not cultural. Moreover, such behavior is nothing more than disrespect for the owners of the house
• By the way, a cultured girl will not allow herself to be late for a business meeting, the theater, cinema, or even a meeting with her friend or work colleague
• When entering the house, be sure to greet all guests first. You should not check the rooms for cleanliness and run your eyes from one piece of furniture to another. Girls with good manners cannot afford such behavior
• While visiting, try not to talk on the phone. If someone calls you at this time, politely ask the guests to apologize and step aside. Explain to your interlocutor that you are currently visiting and as soon as you are free, you will certainly call him back

• Don’t look at your watch often – this can show your hosts that you are not interested in their place and are in a hurry to leave.

Etiquette rules for a girl on a date

• If a properly brought up girl with good manners does not allow herself to be late for a visit, work or business meeting, then with a date things are a little different. But this is kind of an exception to the rule
• However, why do etiquette rules recommend that a girl be a little late for a meeting with a guy? It is believed that this is a kind of prophylaxis for men
• While he is waiting to meet the girl he likes, he has the opportunity to weigh everything again, to be alone with his thoughts and intentions
• But you can only be slightly late for a date. If a guy waits too long for you, it may interpret this as disdain for him.

• If this is your first date, and naturally the guy will shower you with a lot of compliments, then you shouldn’t tell him about the efforts you make to look like this, where and how much you bought this outfit or mobile phone, etc. Remember speech etiquette for a girl and its basic rules.

Never call a guy yourself after the first date - he should show interest in you himself.

Clothes etiquette for girls

As the saying goes: “You’re greeted by your clothes, you’re seen off by your mind.” This stereotype has become a part of our lives and has not lost its relevance at all times. A girl’s correctly selected wardrobe indicates her level of education.

Important: Clothing should always be appropriate to the atmosphere of the event and its setting. A well-mannered girl will never allow herself to appear at a social event with bright makeup and a short leather skirt.

• Clothes should be beautiful. This rule applies not only to the wardrobe, which is intended for going out into society, but also for home
• A properly brought up girl will not allow herself to be in the house in an unkempt robe or nightgown, even an expensive one.
• Home clothes should be comfortable, simple, neat and beautiful. You should always look beautiful and well-groomed in order to receive a sudden guest or go out at any time

• Another rule is to cultivate a sense of tact and taste. Those girls who wear a lot of jewelry look defiant. There is one unwritten rule - wear no more than 13 jewelry. These include bracelets, earrings, chains, bright inserts, buttons, belts, etc.

An elegant woman is a good posture, which means a straight back, gently lowered shoulders, a tucked in stomach, straight legs at the knees, a raised chin and slightly bent elbows.

Restaurant etiquette rules for girls

Sooner or later, a moment comes in a girl’s life when she will be invited to dinner at a restaurant. Rules restaurant etiquette start directly at the doors of the establishment. The first person to enter a restaurant is always a man who approaches the metro-giver and inquires about the availability of seats. He must move the chair for the girl and help her sit down.

• At a restaurant table you need to sit with flat wall, do not lean your elbows or cross your legs. Never wear makeup during lunch or talk on the phone unless you have an important call. Ordering is a man's lot. A lady can only express her wishes and consult with a man
• In addition to the fact that a properly brought up girl knows what style of clothing to choose and how to apply makeup correctly, in a restaurant you will also be required to know how to properly arrange your handbag and umbrella
• What do the rules of etiquette say in this case? If you have a clutch, you can put it on the table or on a nearby empty chair. The same applies to handbags small sizes. But with larger accessories you need to behave correctly - put them on public display, at least not tactfully. If possible, hang your bag over the back of a chair. Otherwise, you can put it under the table so that it does not interfere with you
• When entering a room, immediately close your umbrella, even if it is wet. You cannot leave an open umbrella at the entrance with the intention that it will dry out better this way. In each restaurant, special accessories are provided for this case that allow you to leave umbrellas in them - take advantage of this

How to accept gifts for a girl? How should a girl behave in a relationship?

• If you have a boyfriend, then behave with him the way you would like him to behave with you. Remember that, first of all, a guy wants to see femininity, understanding and beauty in his chosen one
• Ease and ease in behavior always attract a man, regardless of his status and age. Give him the opportunity to feel stronger around you. But by giving him the palm, do not lose your own dignity
• Learn to say “thank you” correctly! It is so customary in society that a man should please his woman with gifts. And how often you will receive them depends on how you accept his gift.
• What a sin to hide, modern women have forgotten how to accept gifts in such a way as to inspire a man to do this as often as possible. Many of the women limit themselves to a dry “thank you,” or, at most, a kiss on the cheek
• But you must make sure that your man can also feel the joy of this event. Dry gratitude is not enough for him. He dreams of seeing delight in your eyes, joyful and sincere emotions

• Express your gratitude with many pleasant and warm words and do not forget to note his exquisite taste even if in fact you are not particularly delighted

Rules of business etiquette at work

A set of laws called etiquette exists not only in social life, but also in the business environment. This is a kind of passport to the world of business people and a standard of communication. It is customary to judge a person by his deeds, behavior and ability to build the right relationships in the business sphere.

Therefore, compliance with the rules of business etiquette at work plays a significant role. We can talk endlessly about this, but we will try to briefly describe to you the most important rules of etiquette:

1. Time is money. This means punctuality, respect for the interlocutor and his time. No person will enter into relationships with those who do not know how to plan their work day, sort out urgent and important matters and do not keep control over the course of all events

3. Dress code. Neat hairstyle, business style clothes and properly selected jewelry

4. Order on your desktop means order in your head

5. Workplace for work. It is not permissible to waste working time on gossip, empty conversations and chatting on the phone

6. Be able to listen and hear. Business Etiquette involves hearing your opponent, and not just listening to him

7. A healthy atmosphere within the team, the basis of which is respectful and equal relationships between colleagues, goodwill and timely assistance if necessary

8. Compliance telephone etiquette. Telephone conversations in modern society are able to establish relationships between competitors and conduct negotiations correctly and in a timely manner. Communicating by phone during working hours is only permissible business purposes. Personal telephone calls are only permitted if absolutely necessary.

Calling etiquette rules

Phone calls have their time, just like business. A well-mannered person will not allow himself to disturb his friend with a phone call earlier than 8 a.m. and later than 10 p.m., unless this call has been agreed upon with him in advance.

• The rules of etiquette dictate that if the mobile connection is interrupted during a conversation, then the person who called the first time needs to call back
• If you are talking on the phone with a stranger, be sure to address him as “you”
• When you call, be sure to say hello and introduce yourself. When communicating, use only impersonal forms. It is not ethical to address the subscriber with words such as “girl”, “young man”, “woman”
• Be sure to answer business calls within the first three rings. If you are calling, it is not customary to wait longer than six rings for the call. A business conversation cannot last more than 5 minutes
• If you expect a longer conversation, be sure to ask the subscriber if he has the opportunity to devote 20-30 minutes to you, for example
• If you are in a restaurant, put your mobile phone in your bag or pocket. Never put it on the table
• It is not civilized to write messages or “sit” in social network while communicating with a real interlocutor
• Never answer someone else's phone

Etiquette rules for girls in society

Not only the girl, but also everyone around her must follow the rules of behavior in society. It is known that society influences a person’s character. Therefore, if you decide to learn good manners, then you cannot part with them in any society, regardless of its level.

A decent girl will not allow herself to “fall face down in honest company,” but, on the contrary, will conquer those around her with her manners, appearance and upbringing.

• Never respond to the greeting "good afternoon" with a short word - "good
  Behave in a calm, polite and courteous manner
• When leaving the room, try to hold the door for the person following you
• If the rules of etiquette in society allow a girl to wear a hat and gloves indoors, then you must take off your winter mittens and hat
• The rules of etiquette prohibit everyone, without exception, from swearing, speaking loudly, discussing, laughing and gossiping

Etiquette rules for girls in company

Video: How to communicate beautifully? Rules of etiquette

Etiquette rules for girls with parents

Sooner or later in every girl's life there comes a time when a guy introduces her to his parents. This is always exciting for a girl and she tries in every possible way to make the best impression of herself. But don't overdo it!

• Etiquette rules recommend remaining yourself, behaving calmly and civilly.
• Don’t show your parents your excitement, but you don’t need to hide it by randomly twisting the ring on your finger or straightening your hair.
• When meeting for the first time, you should not take the initiative in the conversation - behave modestly and correctly, and sincerely answer your parents’ questions. Try not to talk about yourself unless you are asked to do so.
• Spread out a glass of alcohol at the table throughout the evening and don’t fall for your future father-in-law’s tricks of pouring alcohol on
• Don't refuse treats. Moreover, admire their taste
• Do not bring any animals as a gift. It is also not customary to give perfume, underwear and cosmetics until you really get to know your parents’ taste.
• Don't stay up late. When leaving, be sure to invite the groom's parents to visit in return.
• Simplicity and naturalness are the main rules of a modern and properly raised girl. First of all, you need to respect yourself and be yourself. Then you won’t have to hide your complexes, laugh loudly in the theater or cinema, or avoid communicating with your loved ones
• Simply, if something surprises you, be surprised; if it makes you happy, smile! But for yourself, not for others. Then those around you will be able to immediately notice this sweet creature, with a bright and clean face, open, kind and well-mannered

How can a girl learn good manners?
Rules of social life for a girl

In conclusion, let's list 20 rules of female etiquette.

1. Always be neat and tidy
   2. Do not wear more than 13 decorations, including bright buttons
   3. Avoid talking about money, health, politics and religion at the table.
   4. Don’t go on a visit without calling
   5. Do not dry the umbrella open in the office, at a party or in a restaurant.
   6. Do not use plastic bags from the supermarket as bags.
   7. Do not place your bag on your lap or on your chair.
   8. A handbag is for ladies, not men.
   9. Do not wear a hat and mittens indoors
   10. The man always enters the elevator first, and the one standing closest to the door exits.
   11. Do not discuss people who are not present in the company
   12. Address people over 12 years old as “you”
   13. Before opening the door of the room, be sure to knock
   14. Do not place your mobile phone on a table in a public place
   15. Do not write an SMS message while talking with a real interlocutor
   16.B concert hall or at the cinema, go facing the people sitting
   17. You can’t laugh loudly and announce publicly that you’re on a diet.
   18. Observe speech etiquette
   19. In a restaurant, the one who says the phrase “I invite you” pays off.
   20. Be punctual and open to conversation

Etiquette rules - how to make an unforgettable impression

Modern rules of etiquette are practically no different from the rules of etiquette of past centuries. The pace and way of modern life have made some adjustments.

From general rules we can identify ten of the most relevant and necessary for observance by a decent person.

The first rule of etiquette: polite attitude

As the first rule, we can highlight a polite attitude towards people around us. Acquaintances, nearest and dearest, or complete strangers. And it doesn’t matter where exactly the person is: in a store, public transport, on the street, at work, at home. Always and everywhere you must be able to politely address others.

Second rule of etiquette: greeting

The second rule states that those entering the room must greet first. Whoever it is: a boss, an academician, a president, a simple passer-by, a child. The words of greeting should come from the person entering.

It should be noted that if a companion greets a stranger, the couple should also say words of greeting.

The third rule of etiquette: gratitude

People often forget to say words of gratitude to their closest relatives, loved ones and friends. Taking everything that happens for granted. After all, their care and love is not forced, but from pure heart. Third rule modern etiquette- this is the word thank you.

The fourth rule of etiquette: decent behavior in public places

When in public places, you should not laugh very loudly. Screaming and judging other people, while pointing fingers.

Fifth rule of etiquette: for drivers

Very often, drivers forget about the rules of decent behavior on the road. You cannot rush through puddles and mud, splashing pedestrians. Slow down, please.

The sixth rule of etiquette: cleanliness and fashion

While in public places, and even at home, a person must take care of personal hygiene. Dress in clean, neat clothes. Wear clean shoes. And you shouldn’t blindly follow fashion. It is better to dress not only fashionably, but beautifully and neatly.

The seventh rule of etiquette: unexpected guests

You cannot visit without an invitation. Be sure to notify us in advance of your visit.

Eighth rule of etiquette: smartphone and other people's SMS

When visiting, at a meeting, in a cafe or restaurant, you should never keep your smartphone on the table. This is a manifestation of complete disrespect for the interlocutor. And that means that virtual communication more important than living things.

Rummaging through someone else's phone or pockets in order to read SMS or simple correspondence is extremely impolite and ugly towards a person. This rule applies to both parents in relation to children and spouses.

The ninth rule of etiquette: responding to an insult

Now everyone a large number of problems and worries. People try to throw all their anger and hatred at others. When faced with rudeness and insult, you just need to smile and move away, leaving the offender with all his anger. Don’t stoop to raising your voice and insulting them in response.

Tenth rule of etiquette: the habit of knocking on a closed door

Parents, as soon as the baby begins to live in a separate room, need to develop the habit of knocking before entering the nursery. Then the children will knock on their parents' bedroom door.

This is not the entire list of rules of modern etiquette, but by adhering to at least these ten, a person can win everyone’s respect. And be called with dignity a cultured and educated member of society.

A well-mannered person immediately stands out from the crowd; he is distinguished by certain behavioral traits or manners, such as voice intonation, special expressions used in speech, tone, gestures, facial expressions, and gait. All this is called manners.

Good manners include restraint, modesty, and the ability to control your words and actions. The ability to communicate tactfully and carefully with interlocutors immediately distinguishes a well-mannered person from others.

In order to correspond to the concept of a “well-mannered person”, you need to know the basic rules of etiquette and good manners.

Basic Rules

The habit of speaking loudly, a manner of speech in which one is not shy in expressions and display of emotions, is considered bad manners. And if this is also flavored with active gestures, swagger, tactlessness and unrestrained facial expressions, then you are at risk of earning yourself a reputation as an ill-mannered person.

In addition, such behavior patterns as rudeness in expressions, sloppiness in clothing, disregard for the interests of others, outright hostility towards interlocutors, and imposing one’s desires and will on others are considered unacceptable.

The manner of communication is determined by a person’s internal culture and is usually regulated by upbringing, as well as by socially accepted rules of etiquette.

Etiquette, in turn, implies a respectful and friendly attitude towards all surrounding people, their social status, worldview, position, age, nationality and much more. In general, the rules of etiquette in a civilized society presuppose politeness, which is based on humanism.

In fact, there is nothing difficult about following the rules of etiquette. We offer you 17 rules of good manners for every day that can make your life much easier.

17 etiquette rules for every day

Many of the rules of good manners are hopelessly outdated, but there are a number of instructions that, if you follow, you can be considered a well-mannered person:

1. Never visit people without warning. If you have unexpected guests, then you can walk around the house in a robe or sweatpants without embarrassment and not apologize for the uncleaned room. Let it be their problem;

2. It is considered bad manners to force guests to take off their shoes. They have to figure out these things themselves. If not, the rules of ethics are unknown to them;

3. One of the most common mistakes is drying an umbrella open in public places. Do this exclusively at home. When visiting or at the office, hang an umbrella in closed on a hanger;

4. Good manners for girls include rules for how to behave with your accessories. For example, many ladies make the same mistake - they put their bag on their laps or, in general, put it on the table.

This is unacceptable for a well-mannered girl. If a small elegant clutch can still be placed on the table without embarrassment, then a large bag or, especially, a backpack should be placed on the floor or hung on a chair. Men's briefcases must be placed exclusively on the floor;

5. Carrying plastic or paper branded bags in Everyday life is considered outright redneck.

Cellophane bags can only be used to carry groceries home from the supermarket. Also with and paper bags– took the purchase home from the boutique and forgot about it;

6. A man shouldn't wear it at all. women's bag, and take a woman’s cloak or coat in your hands only when giving it to a lady or carrying it to the dressing room in a theater or other public place;

7. Bathrobe, pajamas, underwear - these are items for the bedroom. At home, it is recommended to wear a comfortable sweater, T-shirt, and trousers. Of course, they must look decent. As a last resort, let it be a tracksuit, but its condition should be decent. Pulled knees and spots are not allowed;

8. Respecting the boundaries of another person and the ability to defend your own is one of the important rules of etiquette. If your child has a separate room, learn to enter it with a knock when he is there.

The child should do the same thing when he wants to enter your bedroom. No one has the right to open letters that arrive at the address of another person, the same applies to electronic resources, accounts, mail and mobile phones. Reading other people's SMS, going through pockets and bags is also a sign of bad taste;

9. A woman may not take off her hat and gloves indoors, but it is better to take off her hat and mittens. I don’t think it’s worth saying that a man is obliged to take off any hat indoors;

10. International protocol prescribes that the number of decorations should not exceed 13 items.

A combination of rings made of different precious metals, such as gold and silver, on one hand is considered ugly. And, in general, you should not clutter up your appearance with excess jewelry. Choose a pair: ring and brooch, earrings and bracelet, necklace and hairpin;

11. Some people do not understand the rules of payment in cafes and restaurants. If, when communicating with a person, you say the phrase “I invite you,” then, of course, you must pay. If a woman invites a business partner to dinner, she pays accordingly.

If they tell you “Let’s go to a restaurant,” then you will pay in half. If a man asks a woman to pay for her, she has the right to agree or refuse;

12. Good manners dictate that men enter the elevator first, and the one closest to the door exits;

13. The most prestigious place in a car is considered to be the seat behind the driver. This is where, according to the rules of etiquette, a woman should sit, and a man should take a seat next to her. When leaving, he opens the door for the lady and offers her his hand.

Many feminists today believe that opening doors in front of you in a car or building is wrong. They say that the business world is not divided by gender;

14. It is considered extremely indecent to declare in society that you are on a diet, do not drink alcohol, or are sick. Why you cannot or do not want to eat something or drink alcohol is your purely personal problem. You don’t have to eat anything, ask for dry wine, sip it a little, but you must praise the hostess for her efforts;

15. Small talk suggests that there are a number of taboo topics for general discussion. These are religion, politics and health. It is very indecent to ask about the value of property, clothing or accessories.

If you are asked a similar question, smile, say that it is a gift and move the conversation to another topic. Moreover, it is indecent to be interested in size wages another man. If you are asked about this, politely say that you would not like to discuss this topic;

16. Any person whose age has passed the twelve-year mark must be addressed as “you.” It looks very rude from the outside when people address people working in the service industry on a first-name basis.

In business, even if you are close friends, in the presence of other people it is necessary to address each other as “you”. If there is any stranger allows himself to say “you” to you, you can try to subtly hint to him with the following phrase: “Are you addressing me?”

Good manners are the basis for the behavior of a well-mannered person in society. The way of dealing with other people, the expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and facial expressions are all called manners. Modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people—it is on these qualities that good manners are based. There are a few basic rules of etiquette that you should adhere to.

Bad manners are considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, outright hostility towards others, disregard for other people's interests and needs, shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people. Also - the inability to restrain one’s irritation, deliberate insult to the dignity of people around him, tactlessness and foul language.

Manners relate to the culture of human behavior and are regulated by etiquette. Etiquette implies a benevolent and respectful attitude towards all people, regardless of their position and social status. It includes polite treatment of a woman, respectful attitude towards elders, forms of address and greeting, rules of conversation and behavior at the table. In general, etiquette in a civilized society coincides with general requirements politeness, which are based on the principles of humanism.

A prerequisite for communication is delicacy, which should not be excessive. Do not mistake flattery and unjustified praise of what you see or hear for this quality. There is no need to try hard to hide the fact that you are seeing, listening to, tasting something for the first time, for fear of seeming ignorant. Any pretense is repulsive.

Ability to behave correctly in different situations can protect you from an unfriendly attitude, which is, of course, important for any person, and especially when it comes to his business relationships. The exchange of formal courtesies (unless it is outright fawning) is actually not such a banal thing as it seems at first glance. By showing the proper tact, you win over your interlocutor and leave a pleasant impression - that’s the whole axiom.

The idea of ​​excessive complexity of etiquette rules and the desire to simplify relationships is very controversial. Stopping showing each other signs of respect does not mean taking life easier.

Courtesy

When it comes to social events, you should: answer as quickly as possible whether you will come or not; a promise should not be broken except for a very serious reason; and immediately inform the organizer of anything that has anything to do with your participation in the event.

This approach is universal. Of course, a formal breakfast is more important than a party in a pub, but the essence is the same. Call if you are running late or cannot make it at all, even if it is an informal meeting. It may surprise you, but people sometimes worry about you. For example, did you have an accident if you didn't show up for a meeting? Nowadays, with the widespread use of answering machines, you can cowardly call people when you expect them to be absent and leave your apologies on the answering machine.

How to introduce people

There are formal rules about how people should be introduced. There are situations where you certainly must do this with utmost care. More generally, in an ordinary everyday situation or at work, if there is any doubt that someone does not know someone, you should introduce people to each other in the simplest way possible. Of course, you can say more if you want. You can also immediately continue on your way, but you still have to introduce yourself. It is considered very bad form to force your friends to listen to your conversation with someone else without even introducing them to each other.

All this is even more important when it comes to social events. Many people who are otherwise polite and reasonable do a poor job of this task. They believe that introducing people to each other is not their business. Either they are too shy, or they assume that everyone already knows each other; or find it too formal and tedious to introduce everyone by name. However, presentation is so important to the flow of conversation that it doesn't matter who does it. You may introduce your brother and sister to each other by mistake, but remember: it is better to introduce people you already know to each other than not to introduce them at all. Don't assume that everyone already knows each other. This is another example of underestimating one’s own importance: at some public event. You may know virtually no one, but others may know even fewer there. Then you can become a link between the two groups, and it is your responsibility to introduce them.

How to give thanks

What could be more important than this? When I tell people I'm writing a book on etiquette, this is the topic they care about most, and they insist that I cover it. They get hurt by how much other people don't bother to say "Thank you." This feeling is so universal - then who are the people who don’t bother to say thank you? Perhaps people in to a greater extent They expect words of gratitude from others and react sharply to their absence or insufficiency, while they themselves generally forget to say “Thank you.”

In this area there is huge number options, and you have to reckon with local traditions. However, in general, you should thank people appropriately for almost everything: an invitation (even if you decline it), a gift, a weekend spent visiting someone. You express gratitude immediately, and if the service or gift is very significant, you thank again later - in a letter, or by phone, or in person. (If you are thanking a family or group of people, it is best to do so in writing, since you may not be able to reach everyone by phone.) In some cases, you may want to give a small, symbolic gift. You should never say, “Oh, they probably know how grateful I am to them, so there’s no need to talk about it,” or, “So many people gave me wedding gifts, so I don’t think they expect me to thank each of them in writing.” " Both are completely wrong! I want to emphasize again: you will never make a mistake or offend anyone by expressing gratitude, but you will be wrong if you neglect this simple show of politeness.

Personal habits

There is a general consensus that certain manners and habits are inappropriate. This point of view of people should be taken into account, even if you yourself do not share it. The rules include the following:

1. Use your hand to cover your mouth when you cough or yawn.
2. Use a tissue when you sneeze, or cover your nose with your hand if you don't have time to do otherwise. Don't pick your nose or sniffle.
3. Don't itch or pick anything out from under your nails - such actions create a repulsive impression.

The main idea: you should not do anything that is unpleasant to the people who are forced to watch it.

A little embarrassment

Sometimes it happens that we unwittingly offend someone. No one is immune from mistakes, from accidental tactlessness in conversation or gesture. As a rule, all you need to do is apologize sincerely and the incident will be over. If you have a sense of humor, then perhaps the best way an apology will be an acknowledgment of one’s mistake in a cheerful manner, laughing at oneself. In any case, the moment of tension that has arisen cannot be left unresolved - it will be unpleasant for both you and your interlocutor.

When a person sneezes, you should tell him “be healthy!” even regardless of whether you know him or not.

Cloth

Many people always dress their own way and don't worry about it. For example, they wear jeans with a shirt everywhere - both to work and to a wedding. Others don't leave the bedroom without makeup and high heels. Such people probably have no problem deciding on clothing. The rest (this applies to a greater extent to women, since men, as a rule, less styles and clothing options and thus less likely to make mistakes) you have to think about this problem. In this case, you need to either follow the rules or think carefully yourself.

If we are talking about a completely official event, then perhaps the invitation will give some recommendations about this, or you can call the organizers and ask - this will be a completely normal and reasonable step. If the event is less formal, it is best to ask the hostess or another guest. When it comes to visiting some fashionable place, it would be correct to ask the owner (or a friend, if he invited you to stay at his parents’ house): “Are we going to change for dinner?” An elegant dress will help a woman in almost any situation. This is more difficult for men, since in some cases a tuxedo will be required for dinner. Usually you will be warned about this in advance, but there is nothing wrong if you ask about it yourself.

If you still can’t figure out how to dress properly for an event, ask yourself: “What clothes seem most appropriate for me in this case?” Some people don't like wearing too little, others don't accept formal style, others absolutely don't want to dress like others... Think carefully about everything and choose your outfit; It may not be perfect, but at least you won't feel uncomfortable.

Old-fashioned good manners and their modern version

There were many traditional rules regarding how men should behave towards women. Today these rules may seem quite old-fashioned. On the one hand, there is nothing wrong with men continuing to show scrupulous politeness to women. Even the most ardent feminists are unlikely to be angry with someone who is simply trying to be polite to them. There is nothing offensive about, for example, having a door opened for a woman. On the other hand, it should not necessarily be considered a sign of rudeness or bad manners for a woman if a modern young man, generally polite and attentive, does not treat her as if she were a porcelain vase and unable to take care of herself.

Old rule: Men always open the door for women.

New rule: The door is opened by the one who goes ahead, or who is stronger, or who is simply more convenient to open it. So, whether you are a man or a woman, hold the door for those who are older than you, or disabled, or carrying a small child or shopping - no matter who is of what gender. You can also go first, but then hold the door on the other side for the person behind you. The one who received this service says: “Thank you.”

Old rule: A man walks around the car (which he is driving) to open the door for a female passenger.

New rule: The driver - male or female - opens the door from the outside for the passenger to sit down. At the end of the trip, the driver opens the door and helps an elderly or disabled passenger exit, but in other cases he may assume that the person can handle this task himself.

Old rule: Men give up their seat to women on public transport.

New rule: Young, healthy people of both sexes give way to elderly or sick people, pregnant women, and people with heavy luggage.

Old rule: Men stand up when a woman enters or leaves a room, and also when she gets up from a table in a restaurant.

New rule: In a restaurant, the host or companion may stand to greet the newcomer, show him his seat, and perhaps pull out a chair. At semi-formal meetings, when new person or someone is leaving, it is considered normal for all guests to stand up to greet or say goodbye. This avoids dissonance between those who are sitting and those who are standing, which could lead to some awkwardness. Of course, it is quite natural that some will remain seated due to medical problems or due to old age. If someone leaves the room (or table in a restaurant) on a short time, then the rest don’t have to get up.

Old rule: A man accompanying a woman walks along outside sidewalk, that is, from the side of the roadway.

New rule: There is no such thing. Many young people do not even suspect that there was once a rule about this.